The Ultimate Guide To Willpower

Willpower is one of the most common but least understood tools we all have access to.

Few know the true potential of willpower. You can use it to achieve your goals with greater ease if you know how to. You can use it to develop better self-control.

In this post, you’ll learn everything you need to know about willpower. From understanding willpower, to how to use it, to how to boost your reserves, this boost will help you.

What Is Willpower?

Willpower, in a sentence, is your ability to control impulses and being able to say ‘no’ when part of you wants to say ‘yes’.

This is the standard definition that many of us are familiar with. But, this type of willpower exists as one part of a trio. It’s useful to learn all three types to understand willpower in its entirety.

Willpower is about harnessing three different powers – I will, I won’t, I want. Harnessing these powers will help you achieve your goals (and to help you stay out of trouble).

Willpower is a general strength and a tool that you can use to achieve what you want.

I Will, I Won’t, I Want

Kelly McGonigal shares in ‘The Willpower Instinct‘ that you can split willpower three ways; I will, I won’t, and I want. Each of these three types of willpower has a different purpose. Each exists in a different part of the prefrontal cortex.

I Will

‘I will’ helps you to start and stick to boring, difficult, or stressful tasks. It is most commonly associated with beginning and doing.

Your upper left prefrontal cortex handles your ‘I will’ power.

I Won’t

‘I won’t’ is useful for holding you back from impulses and cravings. It helps you to say ‘no’ to temptations. When people think of willpower, this is what most people are referring to.

Your upper right prefrontal cortex handles your ‘I won’t power.

I Want

‘I want’ helps you to keep track of your goals and desires. It decides, as the name suggests, what you want and helps you to remember this.

Your lower and central prefrontal cortex manage your ‘I want’ power.

Willpower Challenges

To understand willpower challenges, we must first learn of the two ‘minds’ that each of us has.

One is your impulsive, instant-gratification-led mind, which focuses more on the present moment.

The other is more focused on the future, preferring activities that are best for us in the long run. It focuses on our goals and general wellbeing.

Sometimes, your present self wants something while your future self wants something else. You can understand this as a willpower challenge.

An example of a willpower challenge is as follows. Your present self wants a cookie, while your future self would prefer something better for your long-term health.

When these two selves disagree, one must override the other. You can use willpower to swing this decision.

To ‘win’ these challenges, we can find a way to take advantage of, and not fight, our primitive instincts.

For example, you could allow yourself a smaller treat in the evening for not eating a doughnut at lunch. Or, you could allow yourself to play video games as a reward for being productive.

Outcomes

Further, if you’re distracted and not present, you’re more likely to give in to temptations. When your mind is busy, your impulses – not your long-term goals – will guide your choices. So, an occupied mind can lead to poor decisions.

To give yourself a good future, be compassionate to yourself over a willpower failure. A willpower failure is where you ‘fail’ a willpower challenge. Be compassionate in such a situation rather than feeling bad or guilty.

When you feel bad, it’s easy to fall back on immediate gratification. A desire to feel ‘better’ action, using quick dopamine hits, can lead us to do the very thing you are trying to avoid.

Instead, try to be compassionate about the failure and understanding of your actions. Know that everyone slips up; the important thing is to get back on the horse and keep riding.

Self-Control

You can think of self-control here as the act of using willpower. Our brains developed self-control to give us the ability to control impulses. This has helped us to become ‘fully’ human.

Evolution added self-control on top of our existing urges and instincts. Instincts and urges helped us to survive in prehistoric times. Without them, we would likely be dead.

But, evolution realised that this isn’t useful all the time. It can sometimes be harmful. So, evolution developed self-control – or willpower – to gives us the best chances of survival.

To exert self-control, you need to find your motivation in the moments that matter. Or, make use of your ‘I want’ power when your other ‘self’ wants something different.

My Story

For example, here’s a story of a time when I used my ‘I want’ power to pass a willpower challenge.
Towards the end of 2018, I was training for a charity boxing match. I had 8 weeks of training before stepping in the ring and fighting for charity.

One evening, about halfway through training, several pizzas arrived at our house door. Nobody in my house had ordered them. It was spooky. Yet, here they were anyway.

I checked the address and confirmed that they were for us. They were. So, I accepted them and gathered my housemates. Dinner was served!

In that moment, when giving the pizza to them, I turned the pizza down myself. Although I wanted to eat the pizza, what I really wanted was to win the boxing fight. That meant controlling my diet and staying in good health.

I found my motivation when it mattered. I was able to exercise self-control and willpower. I went on to win the fight.

When making decisions, it’s important to use self-awareness. Recognise when you are making a choice that requires willpower. For me, this was choosing a healthy meal instead of eating pizza. Doing so means we are better able to make those decisions.

Be conscious of the decisions you are making and why you are making them. Without this, your brain will run on autopilot. It will decide to do what is easiest, so will act on impulse.

Our Willpower Battery

Each day, we have a finite amount of willpower. Additionally, we use the same willpower for all tasks. There aren’t different batteries, such as for work and health; it all comes from the same source.

Every decision we make drains our willpower. Every time we exert self-control, we deplete our willpower battery. Every time we face a willpower challenge, we lower our level of willpower.

Tougher decisions, such as in Baumeister’s radish vs cookie experiment, will drain more willpower. This will affect our future decisions. Even the smallest decisions will drain some willpower.

The type of decision you make has an impact on your willpower depletion. But, the number of decisions you make has more of an impact.

Some good examples include:

Using social media:

Choosing what to read
Choosing what to click on
Choosing what to like or share

Using email:

Choosing what emails to read (and in what order)
Choosing which emails to reply to
Choosing which emails to delete or archive

Using dating apps:

Deciding who to like
Deciding who to pass
Deciding what photos are best or what your bio should be

Systems

To aid with this, we can put systems in place. These systems can be useful for helping us minimise decisions. This will allow us to optimise our use of willpower, saving more for later.

We could design systems for answering emails, such as going from oldest to most recent. Other systems could include only using email, social media, or other apps in the afternoon.

You could wear the same clothes every day to minimise choices. You could eat the same breakfast every day. You could make use of a morning routine to ensure you start your day in the right way.

Quick tip: Don’t go shopping early in the day if you know you’ll need to use self-control later.

How To Use Willpower Properly

Our willpower is highest in the morning; we recover it through sleep, which we’ll go into shortly. For now, know that each morning our willpower is at its peak. So, the morning is the optimal time to do ‘difficult’ willpower-demanding tasks.

The more decisions you have to make in the morning, the less willpower you will have throughout the day. This is one reason why it’s good practice to have a morning routine. A series of pre-set habits and practices allows you to get the most out of your day.

If there is a task that you know is important, do this first thing in the morning. This could be pursuing a passion or developing an important work skill. With the most willpower available in the morning, it will be easiest and best to do so at this time.

You may think that the world’s most successful people exert massive self-control daily. With all the stuff they get done, and all the bad habits they avoid, this must be true!

Well, here’s a shocker for you. They often use less willpower than most people each day. They have learnt how to optimise their environment for success.

Your environment plays a significant role in your use of willpower. If sugary foods or cigarettes are accessible, indulging our impulses is more likely.

Every time you see a cookie or a cigarette, one of two things happens. You might tell yourself ‘no’, either consciously or subsconsciously. Or, you’ll give in to the temptation, which is bad for you.

Successful people have learnt to use this to their advantage. Instead of leaving cookies around, they have healthy fruits for snacking. If you’re craving something sweet, and only apples are available, you’ll eat an apple. It’s either that or spend 15 minutes going to the store and buying a treat, which is effort.

Our brains are much more likely, and wired, to choose the easiest and most obvious option. The more friction that you can create between yourself and the thing you are trying to avoid, the easier it will be to avoid.

You can free up willpower by optimising your environment. You can free up willpower by implementing systems to minimise decisions. Both allow you to focus on the things that matter.

So, that’s how to use willpower properly. Ensure that it gets used on helping you achieve your long-term goals.

Activities That Destroy Willpower

The following are some activities that destroy willpower. To use willpower well, we can cut some or all of these activities from our lives:

Watching Television
Casual use of the Internet – Watching pointless YouTube, using social media and Reddit
Snacking or overeating
Sleeping in
Drinking alcohol, using drugs, and smoking. These destroy both your body and your willpower.
Video games – these are a time sink and a willpower drain. The danger here is that they are addictive. Unless you have systems in place, they can take control of your life very quickly.
Watching pornography

The Physiology Of Willpower – How To Boost Your Willpower Levels

You’ve learned about what willpower is and how to use it. We can now look at how we can boost our willpower levels.

Sleep

As mentioned before, sleep is integral to recovering willpower. Each night, we refuel our willpower batteries. But, without getting 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night, our stores won’t replenish in full.

Without getting enough sleep, we will be more impulsive, giving in to our cravings more often.

By having an evening routine, you’ll be better able to wind down for the night and fall asleep easier and faster.

The first thing that you can do to improve your willpower is to ensure you are getting enough sleep every night.

Exercise

Regular exercise helps our bodies to run efficiently. Our brains are parts of our bodies, meaning exercise also helps our brains.

One way that you can develop willpower is through using it like a muscle.

Whenever you make a difficult decision, you’re better able to make future decisions. This is particularly true when the decisions you are making are good for you. You can liken this to lifting weights at the gym.

Exercising often may be something we don’t want to do. But, we know it’s good for us. This allows us to make good use of our willpower and make similar positive decisions in the future.

Diet

Dieting can also boost your willpower. Studies have found that unstable blood sugar levels can cause our willpower levels to struggle.

Through having a stable and consistent diet, you’ll have improved levels of willpower. A low-glycemic and plant-based is best.

Meditation

Regular meditation will boost your willpower. Over time, meditation develops and grows your prefrontal cortex. This is the part of the brain associated with decision making, higher cognitive functioning, and willpower.

The grey matter in this area of the brain increases through regular meditation. So, our brain’s functioning in that area improves. Even a few weeks of 5 minutes of daily meditation is enough to see radical positive change.

Willpower For Your Lifestyle

What good or use is willpower if you can’t use it effectively? After having read this post, you should now understand what willpower is. You should know how to best use it apply it to your own life.

But, a lot of this is theory-based. Ut’s impossible for me to give you the specific practices and approaches that will work best for you. I do not know how you operate or your lifestyle.

To live your best possible life, you must learn how to apply willpower to your own way of living. You’ll need to make changes to your life and adapt the information shared here. Do what is best for you.

Take some of the best practices found here, then apply to your own life. Adapt them to your personal strengths, weaknesses, and goals. Gather your own data and use that to inform your actions going forwards.

Wrapping Up

Thanks for reading, I hope this guide will change how you approach your life going forwards.

Willpower is a powerful tool that we can harness to live our ideal life. But, to do so, we must ensure our willpower battery isn’t depleted on tasks that aren’t useful to our goals.

If you enjoyed this post or found it useful, share the site with your friends. We have loads of other useful posts if you want to learn more, so have a browse. Cheers!