If you’re doing NoFap and want to increase your success rate, you’ve likely looked at many techniques and strategies to do so – including using both willpower and discipline. While both are some of the many effective tools in your NoFap arsenal, these two seem to be the most ‘active’ tools and often are the most appealing. In this article, we’ll take a look at each in more detail.
Willpower
I’ve previously looked at willpower in-depth, but here we’ll be approaching it for NoFap specifically. I’ll also be applying a different frame to understanding willpower which is useful for practicing NoFap.
We’re told willpower is like a battery. The common understanding is that we each have a limited amount of willpower that slowly gets depleted as we make choices throughout the day.
And while willpower is like a battery, there’s an inherent issue in the above belief – it’s a scarcity mindset; once your battery is depleted, there’s nothing you can do until it recharges that night.
This belief is even more dangerous when using willpower for NoFap. Cravings and urges for PMO can hit you at any time. When pure willpower is your only tool, and you believe you’ve ‘run out’ of willpower for the day, giving in to the Porn Demon is inevitable.
Instead, look at it as the following. You have an infinite supply of willpower. What the battery represents is the strength and effectiveness of that willpower.
It’s easier to do something difficult in the morning compared to doing the same thing in the evening. This isn’t because you have more willpower in the morning. It’s because your willpower is stronger and more effective in the morning.
Thankfully, strength can be trained, giving us more effective willpower whenever we need it.
Discipline
This is where willpower’s brother comes in, discipline.
Where willpower is the energy and resource, discipline is the muscle. Discipline is the act of using willpower, the practice of getting yourself to do things you don’t want to do, or NOT do things your lizard brain wants you to do (like PMO). Practicing either of these forms of discipline exercises that muscle and makes it stronger and easier to use in the future.
When on NoFap, you’re constantly building that muscle of discipline. Every single time you feel an urge or craving and DON’T act on it, you build the muscle. And it gets stronger.
Meaning, every time you resist the temptation, your ability to exercise willpower gets stronger, making overcoming the next craving or urge that bit easier.
What’s more, this built discipline is not useful only for resisting the Porn Demon. It positively improves your discipline and willpower in all areas. Think of saying no to porn as a compound exercise like bench press – it most helps the primary muscle, in this case your chest, but strength improvements are also noticed elsewhere. If the only exercise you did was bench press, you wouldn’t just have a strong chest; your triceps, shoulders, etc, would all see some improvement. The same is true when using discipline for NoFap.
Therefore, one of the best ways to build discipline is to do NoFap. And once you’ve got that muscle built, you can use it to achieve your goals.
One point here worth remembering – continuing with the muscle analogy, once you stop doing NoFap, and you’re no longer giving that muscle of discipline any exercise, then the muscle will atrophy. It’ll start getting weaker. So if discipline is your goal and you Become Triumphant by overcoming the Porn Demon for good, you’ll need some other form of working that muscle to ensure you maintain your gains. Some examples of ways to practice discipline outside of NoFap include cold showers and comfort zone challenges.
Usage of willpower and discipline for NoFap
Now that we understand the two in more detail, we can begin to look at how, practically, to use willpower and discipline for NoFap.
If Becoming Triumphant is your goal, then willpower and discipline should not be your only tools. They are by nature a reactive strategy, and that’s the realm in which the Porn Demon thrives. It wants to catch you at your lowest. Ensure you have proactive strategies in place, such as adult content blockers and accountability, before relying on willpower and discipline.
Once that’s sorted, here’s what you can do. First, in the moment, you can use the phrase ‘NoFap’ to remind yourself why you’re doing this, and give yourself a boost of willpower and strength.
Then you’re going to have to draw on that motivation and fight with everything you’ve got. This is your battle. Resist. Try your absolute hardest (pun not intended).
The outcome of that battle will depend on several factors:
- The time of day, and what you’ve done so far that day
- How strong your discipline muscle is
- How many times you’ve previously resisted that day
- How strong the urge is
- How long your streak is
- Anything relevant to your situation
But what’s important is that you give it your all, regardless of the factors at play. You cannot let any excuse slip into your mind. If, even for a second, you think “Oh, jeez, it’s late at night, I’ve used all my willpower, might as well relapse 🤷”, then you’ve already failed.
You have to instead see each challenge as an opportunity to build your strength and grow your discipline muscle. The more challenging the urge, the more strength you gain. Being aware of the factors in play is a motivator, not an excuse – the above thought should sound something like “It’s late at night and this urge is really strong, but I’m gonna fight with everything I’ve got”.
Now, if you know urges have been particularly strong, take a look at the above factors and see what you can do to optimise them.
If you’re finding yourself using willpower in other areas throughout the day, try and reduce those where possible.
Practice building discipline in other areas by doing things you don’t want to do or by resisting temptations (best done when not experiencing cravings).
Practice reminding yourself of your motivation in the moments when it matters. Test how you remind yourself of your motivation, and what that motivation is, to see what’s most effective.
Really, it comes down to self-awareness. Can you recognise that you’ve been tempted? Because if not, you can’t use your willpower and practice discipline. Start trying to be more mindful and aware in your daily life, particularly around temptations and urges. Really try to recognise and feel the desire to eat junk food, for example, or to play video games. Becoming aware of temptations like these will help best prepare you for the more vital challenges that the Porn Demon will throw at you.
All that’s left is to do it. You’re armed with the knowledge of willpower, discipline, and strategies to improve the two. Now go win the fight, then the next fight, then the war.
You got this, bro. Stay strong.