Recently I experienced the NoFap flatline, properly, for one of the first times in my life.
It hit me like a ton of bricks. I’d had a day in the office at work, where I have to keep on a professional front, a face of sorts. Feelings of loneliness built up throughout that day, which I first became aware of on my lunch break.
After getting home, I sat down and cried, accepting my loneliness. It was deep; my walls broke down for the first time in memory. I felt vulnerable.
Of course, I couldn’t do this in front of another person, or so I tell myself. Nobody would understand, nobody would relate. Which is a load of bullshit. This leads to further feelings of isolation, which in turn leads to feelings that you can’t talk to anyone, and so on and so forth. But that’s another problem for another post.
In short, it was a rough evening. I felt very sad, very alone, and very much like my life had no meaning, no point, and no direction. It’s possibly the lowest I’ve ever felt, the only other contender being burnout.
I struggled to sleep that night. Almost cried myself unconscious.
This all happened just over 3 weeks into NoFap hard mode (no porn, no masturbation).
Alas, I did not let this control me. And this post is not about pity or sympathy, it’s just useful to set the scene.
So, I decided that something needed to change, and I acted on that decision.
I woke up early and went to the gym. It was not a good workout, but the fact I worked out is enough of a win. It’s a good start to the day, no matter how I felt throughout and after. It was proof I could do something for myself even at my lowest.
Loneliness
Loneliness is a feeling, an emotion, that has a purpose, just like other emotions. It’s a sign from your body that something needs to change – and in this case, that you’re – I’m – lacking real human connection.
It’s your innate biological processes telling you to wake the fuck up, ringing alarm bells in your head and your body to encourage you to do something.
I believe that porn was used as an escape from this harsh reality of loneliness. You can trick your lizard brain into thinking you’re achieving your biological goal of reproduction by masturbating to porn.
When that escape is taken away, your lizard brain is like “Yo, what the fuck?!”.
At first, it will do everything in its power to bring that ‘comfort’ back, try its utmost to bring you back to the safety and stability of regular ‘reproduction’. Yeah, I know, it’s kinda fucked up.
And then, when starved, it settles for a short period… then comes back full force – but this time, in a healthy way.
It hits you with intense loneliness and sadness. Which, of course, makes you crave connection in an effort to motivate you to meet people and potential mates.
That was the start of my flatline.
What happened next
The following morning, I decided two things – that I’d stop hanging out with friends who don’t align with me and my goals, and set plans for a new business – The Daily Dolphin (@DailyDolphinArt). And of course, what good are plans if you don’t act on them immediately – which was how I filled my morning.
Later that morning, I began researching possible causes of this crash and realised it was likely related to NoFap. Searches like “nofap loneliness” and “nofap depression” led me to discover this article, which prompted the idea that I could be in the NoFap flatline.
And that was it, surely. It made sense. I’d just entered the flatline, the period of low mood, low arousal, and low motivation. Or, as I like to see it, the most important part of your recovery from porn addiction – the time when your brain actually starts to heal.
See, I view flatline as a good thing. Sure, in the moment it absolutely sucks. It’s brutal. Yet during this period, it’s important to remember that the flatline is the most important part of recovery. It’s where the magic of NoFap actually happens, where your brain starts the healing process. It rewires away from the old, addicted pathways and towards the new, healthy pathways.
I like to see the flatline as the darkest part of the night. And as we know, the darkest part of the night is just before dawn. If you can wait it out just a bit longer, the light will eventually appear over the horizon, bringing with it a new day and a new, improved you.
It’s your – and my – responsibility to brave that night. To give it everything you’ve got, to show it what you’re made of, to show your courage and prove to yourself and to the universe that you’ve got what it takes to beat this addiction for good.
That is your duty as a man (or woman) committed to bettering yourself and overcoming this addiction.
Don’t let fear of darkness lead you to the temporary comfort and warmth of the Porn Demon, to hell.
Hold out. Don’t quit. And let the dawn bring with it new light into your life.
Stick with it bro, your better self is just around the corner.
James
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